It was no surprise to me when I fell madly in awe with one of my personal development mentors years ago. Smart and handsome ... who wouldn't!

I remember feeling the same way about the physician who saw me during my first pregnancy and delivered my first child. I was sure the man walked on water after he left the office every day.

Women collapse logical thinking with emotions. They expect the relationship will last beyond paying for services.

I remember having difficulty managing myself emotionally during the breakup of my daughter and her first boyfriend in high school. She was upset. I was devastated! I went from 45 to a 15 year old in a flash! It was puppy love for me all over again!

Back to my mentor. I played his training videos day in and day out. I listened to him facilitate calls, delving deeply into the subjects that I admit, arouse me much more than a quick grab and kiss. I lived  inside the work he taught for several years.

Rude awakenings occurred when I crossed the line and held his feet to the fire. He cut me off at the knees. I was so sure it was more than business for us! How could I have been so wrong?

For him our relationship was business and when I stood up to him, he dropped me like a hot potato.

I think men get this about the mentor relationship, absorb it as 'this is how it is,' and move on.

This was like a breakup. I reworked our dialogues night after night as I lay awake thinking somehow I could change events of the past. I was tortured.

How much emotional energy do women attach to mentors without realizing it?

What if women could look at mentors as business relationships and let that be that?

As with the physician, then the boyfriend, and then mentor, I am now very clear about one thing,

Save my precious creative energy for things that serve the world -- and don't worry when or if my mentor drops me, regardless of the reason.

Why is this important for women in business?

Because one day YOU will mentor someone and will be sensitive to their falling in love with you!

 

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Tags: Flowers, Leslie, business, mentor, women

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Comment by Diana M.Needham on March 12, 2014 at 8:59pm

Thanks for sharing this very insightful piece.

What is that saying: people enter your life for a reason and for a season?

Best to view all mentorship and coaching relationships from an objective point of view. 

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